All That Glitters Is Not A Nickel

Alexander and Hannah Marquis.

Once upon a time in a land called "The Knobs" there was a girl named Hannah and a boy named Al who found themselves--somewhere between church picnics and fall harvests--smitten with one another. So, things being what they were (and still often are), he asked her to marry him and she eagerly accepted. Al was quite a catch after all. Everyone spoke well of him; he was kind, funny, hard-working and sincerely in love with her. On the other hand, he was poor and couldn't afford much fanfare much less a proper wedding ring. Hannah didn't care. She loved him anyway and so she walked down the aisle in a simple, modest dress and tended their home with a graceful, unadorned hand.

Over the years, many things changed and yet many things did not. They still loved one another a great deal (as evidenced by their ten children), yet they were still poor (again, as evidenced by their ten children). And though he may have wanted to, Al still could not afford to give Hannah the shining gold ring she deserved. Instead, he did the best he could by presenting her with a simple, thin band that he cut from an equally simple, modest nickel.

Years later their children began to fall in love and build their own families; not all of them, however, met with success. Eva, in particular, struggled with her heart's desire. Although she loved her father, she also loved her freedom and she was convinced (wrongly) that she had to choose between them in order to be happy. She left one night on the back of a motorcycle, fleeing The Knobs for the flats of Oklahoma where the man she loved presented her with what had eluded her mother for so long: a shining band of gold.

In the morning, her finger turned a figurative green. Eva's man already had another wife--or so they said. Soon, she was chasing the road back home where her family waited to welcome her and usher him to the door at the end of a pitchfork. Her family didn't judge her (well, not that much), and she soon became her own worst critic and she began to despair. Sadly, her shining band of gold became something she viewed as unearned and undeserved. But after thought and prayer and contemplation, she found an elegant solution that would resolve her public humiliation, her father's private wish and her mother's secret dream: she traded it for a simple, modest nickel.

***

You may find my story to be a little corny, naive even but, aside from a few embellishments, it is a true tale. My great-grandfather Alexander Marquis married Hannah Pennell in the late 1800s and they raised a large family in "The Knobs" of southern Illinois. Their daughter Della Evalee--a "flapper"--eloped on the back of a motorcycle during the Roaring '20s only to have the family run off her duplicitous beau upon their return. She exchanged rings with her mother because, as I was told, she felt badly that her mother--so richly married--should wear a nickel while she--so poorly matched--bore a ring of gold.

When Hannah died in 1944, Della took back her ring while the nickel ring--and the story behind it--became lost. Or so one would think. I found the nickel ring among Della's things during her final illness and gained the story from my mother. Things being what they were (and still often are), the ring disappeared soon after. Or so one would think.

I found the ring again not too long ago among my own things, and I've been wearing it ever since. Unfortunately, my stewardship has not been that kind, and the soft-metal ring is now misshapen and it has lost the markings that identified it as a one-time coin. But the story remains, and that's what's most important. So, this weekend, I am passing the torch, so to speak, and placing the ring in the care of my niece, Eloise. It's my hope that this ring--however cheap and unassuming it may appear--will convey a wealth of meaning to her and the other young women within my extended family as they one day start their own lives and families years from now. Alex and Hannah's ring will, I hope, be eagerly and actively embraced and traded amongst them as "something old" or "something borrowed" when it comes time for them to follow their hearts down the aisle.