The Six Wives of Perry Green Marquis

Perry Green Marquis

Time for a little family history and a few tales of that most enigmatic ancestor, one Perry Green Marquis. Perry lived a very long and colorful life that is perhaps best told through the lives of his many wives. Get comfortable and settle in. It's a long story (he had a lot of wives).

Perry Green Marquis, affectionately known as “The Old Sire,” was born on Thursday, January 22, 1824 in Posey County, Indiana. Posey County is at the extreme southwestern tip of Indiana. It shares the Wabash River as its western border with Illinois and the Ohio River as its southern with Kentucky. It is still a largely rural county with a population fewer than 30,000. At the time Perry was born, it must have been a lonely place for its population was less than 5,000.

In 1840, when Perry was 15 years old, he moved in with his grandparents William A. and Mary Marcus while his father, James C. Marquis, moved to Wells County in northeast Indiana, presumably to farm a parcel of land he'd just bought. It's interesting to note that James and his brothers, Solomon and William, all owned land but in different parts of the state. Perry maintained a close relationship with his grandfather until the old man's death prior to 1860. James, for his part, left Perry out of his will when he died in prior to 1850.

In 1854, Perry took his young wife and two small boys across the Wabash River into White County, Illinois and set out for Hamilton County, just a few miles down the road.

Hamilton County records show Perry was granted 200 acres of land for farming. He received 160 acres on August 7, 1854 by the Department of the Interior, General Land Office. He received an additional 40 acres on March 28, 1855. The 1860 census lists Perry as a Farmer Landowner with $500 worth of land and $150 of personal property. Family legend, however, states that Perry was a heavy drinker and that he “drank away acres of timber.”

Elizabeth Martin
Perry married Elizabeth Martin on March 5, 1849 in Vanderburgh County, Indiana. Perry was 25 and Elizabeth was 18.

Elizabeth Martin was born in 1830 in Vanderburgh County, Indiana near what is now the Evansville area. The Martin family, it seems, was both sizable and wealthy. In January 1869, one Lucy Martin brought suit against the late Elizabeth Marquis’ children. Also named in this document is William Martin, Minerva Martin (probably husband and wife), Charles Martin, and Nancy A. Martin (also probably husband and wife). In a pleading document dated September 1871, William Martin states that he and the defendants are joint tenants of fifty-six and one-half acres in Vanderburgh County, Indiana. It appears that this legal action was to get total property rights of what would have been part of an inheritance from Elizabeth Martin’s parents. A cursory check of land grants in Posey and Vanderburgh counties shows that the Martin family collectively owned about 2,000 acres.

Elizabeth's gravestone

Perry and Elizabeth Martin had four children:
    •    William B. Marquis, born 1850
    •    James T. Marquis, born 1852
    •    Sarah F. Marquis. born 1856
    •    Joseph P. Marquis, born 1858

Eight months after giving birth to her son Joseph, Elizabeth died on Friday, November 5, 1858 in Hamilton County, Illinois. She was buried in Antioch Cemetery.

Margaret Freeman
Two months after Elizabeth’s death, Perry and Margaret Freeman were married on Sunday, January 16, 1859 in Hamilton County by Z.B. Reed, Justice of the Peace. He was 34, she was 16. While the short courtship might give one pause, one must consider that Perry found himself alone, raising four children (ages 8, 6, 2, and 10 months) while also trying to keep his farm going.

Margaret Freeman was born on Sunday, March 14, 1842 in Illinois. She died on Saturday, January 18 1862 in Hamilton County and was buried in the old section of Antioch Cemetery. Her gravestone is worn and barely legible. She was laid to rest next to Perry’s first wife, Elizabeth (Martin) Marquis.

Perry and Margaret Freeman had one child, Mariah Elizabeth Marquis. Named after Perry’s sister, Mariah (and his first wife), she was born December 18, 1860.

Amanda's sister, Clarinda Cowen

Amanda Elizabeth Cowen
Four months after Margaret died, Perry and Amanda Elizabeth Cowen were married on Thursday, April 3, 1862 in McLeansboro, Hamilton County, Illinois by Z.B. Reed, Justice of the Peace. This was Perry’s third marriage and the only marriage for Amanda Elizabeth. Perry was 38 and Amanda was 23 years old. Given the short amount of time between Perry’s marriages, one may assume he did not like living alone – at least not without a wife to care for his growing family.

On August 13, 1862, four months into the marriage (and 16 months after the war began), Perry joined the Union Army at Knights Prairie as a Private, Company B, 110th Illinois Infantry. The “Muster and Descriptive Roll of the Regiment of Illinois Volunteers” lists Perry as 38 years old; 5 feet, 10 inches tall; black hair; blue eyes; fair complexion.

It is unclear how much actual battle Perry saw. There is no specific mention of Private Perry Marquis’s exploits. His unit, however, is documented to have fought in a number of battles, including two seminal events: the Battle of Chickamauga, where the Union Army suffered one of its greatest defeats in the War; and Sherman’s March to the Sea.

If Perry fought at Chickamauga and elsewhere in Tennessee, it helps explain the brevity of his marriage to Amanda Elizabeth Cowen. According to Della Marquis Gruthoff, “Amanda came (to Illinois) from Tennessee in a covered wagon. Her family, who still lived in Tennessee, fought with the Southern Army, but those who came to southern Illinois served with the North.”

The basic experience of war also served as a contributing factor. According to Helen Huffstutler Ferreira, “Perry went away to serve and came back such a hard and changed man that the marriage could not last.”

Company B was mustered out on Thursday, June 8, 1865 in Washington, DC. After returning to Hamilton County, Perry joined the Grand Army of the Republic Post 469 at Macedonia.

Perry and Amanda divorced in 1866. Child custody was an immediate point of contention. According to Helen Huffstutler Ferreira, “My mother Kate indicated that whenever ‘Old Perry’ moved on, he would insist that his offspring should go with him. When he confronted Amanda Elizabeth with this demand, she met him with, ‘Over my dead body!’ He did not take Katherine and Alexander.”

Still, he must have borne her some lingering affection since he named his next daughter, Amanda.

Amanda Elizabeth Cowen was born in March 1839 in Tennessee. Judging from her sister Clarinda’s photo and family lore, Amanda was “of sturdy stock,” a large woman who was known for her outer and inner strength. During the War, while Perry was away, Amanda worked the fields with Perry’s sons, ages 12 and 10, plowing with a team of oxen. She was pregnant, alone and raising her husband’s five children, ages 12, 10, 6, 4 and 2.

She died on Sunday, August 11, 1907 in Flannigan Township, Hamilton County, Illinois, less than a month after Perry’s death. Her obituary in the McLeansboro paper, The Leader, read, “An old lady died here at the home of her son Alex. Buried at Cartwright Chapel Cemetery.”

Perry and Amanda Elizabeth Cowen had two children:
    •    Katherine Marquis, born 1863
    •    Alexander Rhodes Marquis, born 1865

According to Della Marquis Gruthoff, “Grandmother raised Alex and Katie. Katie died when 12 years and is buried at Cartwright Cemetery beside Grandmother.”

Blind musician G.W. Marquis

Margaret Perry
Perry and Margaret Perry were married on Thursday, March 1, 1866 by O.P. Kelly, Justice of the Peace. Perry was 42 and Margaret was 33 years old.

Margaret Perry was born about 1833 in Indiana. Perry and Margaret Perry had two children:
    •    George Washington Marquis, born 1867
    •    Amanda Marquis, born 1870

Perry divorced Margaret Perry in 1873.

Sarah Matilda Clanton
Perry married Sarah Matilda Clanton on Monday, September 15, 1873 in Hamilton County, Illinois. This was Perry’s fifth marriage. He was 49, Sarah was 15.

Sarah Matilda Clanton was born in 1858 in Missouri. Perry and Sarah Matilda Clanton had three children:
    •    Mary Etta Marquis, born 1875
    •    Ellen (Martha E.) Marquis, born 1879
    •    Infant Marquis, born 1883

Perry and Sarah were divorced, year unknown. Sarah died November 29, 1923 in Pinckneyville, Perry County, Illinois.

Susan Angeline Gibbs
Perry and Susan Angeline Gibbs were married on Monday, July 27, 1891 by R.M. Harrelson, Justice of the Peace at the Gibbs home in Hamilton County, Illinois. This was Perry’s sixth marriage and Susan Angeline’s first. Perry was 62 and Susan Angeline was 48.

Susan Angeline Gibbs was born on Sunday, November 13, 1842 in Knox County, Tennessee. She united early in life with M.E. Church in Tennessee and lived a devoted Christian life until death. She died on Saturday, June 4 1921 in Knights Prairie, Hamilton County, Illinois and was buried in Antioch Cemetery.

Perry was saved and committed his life to the Lord in 1885 in Hamilton County, Illinois. According to his obituary in The Leader, “He professed faith in Christ in 1885 at an arbor meeting held on his own place and held out faithful till the last. He talked of joining the Baptist church at Antioch but thought himself too feeble for baptism; while he did not belong to any church he was a liberal giver in helping build and keep up churches.”

Kate at Perry's grave, McLeansboro.

Perry died on Thursday, July 18, 1907 in Knights Prairie, Hamilton County, Illinois at the age of 83. He was buried in Antioch Cemetery amongst all of his wives. His gravestone reads:

----------------
MARQUIS
----------------
Perry G. Marquis
Jan. 22, 1824
July 18, 1907
Co. B 110th Reg. ILL Volume. Inft.
---------------
AT REST


Note: all of these details (and more) are due to the diligent research of my cousin Dan Robbins. For more stories, see his wonderful Marquis Family genealogy site at http://www.forestcastle.net/family/marquis/marquis.htm

The Little Boy Who Wouldn't Say His Prayers

Della with Susan Leona and Robert Kim Huffstutler.

Once,” Della said (and rather ominously at that). “Once there was a little boy (and here, always, always, she looked at me with cold, dark eyes) who wouldn’t say his prayers.” 

You could hear the horror of that thought in her voice as she moaned. Her face, in shadowed profile, tilted up away from the light and we watched, oddly fascinated, as the loose skin of her neck quivered. Right on cue, her wicker rocker let out a “screeeeeeeeeetch” that made us all jump a foot in the deep dark of the front porch.

Growing up, this was Halloween. With a pinch of salt thrown over one shoulder, we whistled past the graveyard hoping to escape the notice of the powers of the air. Halloween was frowned upon in that house, tolerated for the sake of us children who merely saw it for the entertainment that it was. Fifty years ago, it was an entertainment – a harmless bit of fun tempered with a little vandalism, a spot of tooth decay and a dash of outright illegal behavior.

Today, Halloween seems to be a quite different thing. When we were kids, boys dressed up as super heroes. We only had two: Batman and Superman. Or we dressed as cowboys or Indians, astronauts or hobos. Girls dressed as princesses, Indian and otherwise, and Raggedy Anne or (shudder) Barbie. Back then, Halloween was a sort of dress rehearsal for our future ambitions. 

Today, I think Halloween has undergone a warped reformation. It's stripped away the fun and the playfulness and embraced death with open, vacant, decaying arms. Halloween has returned to its roots of demons and devils, blood and gore. Since when is death fun? Some still see no harm because it “isn’t real.” They don’t believe in monsters. As for me, I see monsters every time I watch the news or read a paper. I believe in monsters. I have met monsters. The evidence is everywhere – especially in my Bible.

Perhaps I’m naïve. Or perhaps I was a little too fully taught about the consequences of foregoing prayer and a respectful relationship with the Lord above. For, as Della warned us…

Once there was a little boy who wouldn't say his prayers,
and then one night he went away upstairs,
his mammy heard him holler, his daddy heard him call,
but when they pulled the covers back he wasn't there at all!
They searched him in the attic room, the cubbyhole and press
and even up the chimney flue and everywhere, I guess.
But all they ever found of him was pants and roundabouts
because the goblins will get you if you don't watch out!

Uncle Charlie's Farm

My beautiful sisters Donna and Susan.

I have been blessed all of my life with two sisters who quietly and pleasantly fill in the gaps of my life. From hardship to spiritual lack to memory lapse, they have gently corrected my mistakes, set me back on my feet and even pressed a few dollars into my hand before sending me back out into the world--all of which speaks to their superior character.

Many times when I have spun my yarns I'll get a phone call or an email gently pointing out the factual errors in my recollections. "No, that was Della" or "that was five years ago" or "Colostomy?? No! He had a tracheotomy--wrong end!"

Therefore it is my distinct pleasure to offer the following recollection which, I'm sure, will generously provide those in the know with ample opportunity to engage, direct and confide.

Uncle Charlie he had a farm, he had lots of chickens.
Uncle Charlie he loved them all, they were his friends.

The girls--Becky, Susan, Colleen and Donna--used to sing that song quite often. Or rather, Grandmere, Sarlita, Carlita and Jarlita did. At one point in our youth we gave ourselves Mexican-style names although mine, perhaps, was more Spanish Colonial as I was called Don Diego. It doesn't speak well of our parents that someone felt that, since we were emulating immigrants, we belonged in the fields. That's how we came to visit Uncle Charlie's farm: we were recruited to de-tassle corn.

First, let me say what a lousy job that is and allow me to apologize to anyone I have ever unintentionally maligned for having to do any kind of agricultural work. I might add that our parents knew what they were doing when they loaded us onto that flatbed truck and sent us out into what appeared to be endless rows of feed corn. It was dirty, boring, hard work and, after we had finished, we found our wages (hot dogs, potato salad and tall, cold glasses of lemonade) to be, however sating, wholly inadequate to the task. Right away we learned that work is hard and that, because it is hard, one should be humbly grateful for and respectful of those things which were given to us through the fruits of our parents' own hard labor.

Sometimes I know for a fact that youth is wasted on the young. I will warn you, however, that a wise youth is a formidable force of nature. Think of all the things you know now--not just the factual reality of those things but the whys and wherefores as well. Now, imagine what you could have accomplished if you had possessed all of that knowledge and wisdom when you were 18.

It's only over the past ten years or so that much of what I learned 30 and even 40 years ago has started to make perfect sense. It may be because my perspective has finally shifted, thanks to time and age, to a point where it is aligned with that of my teachers. Because I now see the world from the same angle and manner in which they did I am more able to share in their viewpoint and benefit from their experience.

If that's so, then I need to remind myself to be appropriate and deliberate in my discussions with the younger generations of my family. If I truly want to help them, I need to offer advice and guidance while looking at their world through their eyes. I need to gently and lovingly offer kind assistance in much the same way as my beautiful sisters offer it to me.

Birthdays With Aunt Myrtie

Miss Myrtle Marquis, circa 1918.

Time, it has been famously said, keeps on slippin' into the future, and as it moves inexorably on to points unknown it leaves us bobbing in its wake to sink or swim with the outgoing tide. Change is a biological imperative and a key component of God's design. New generations rise to take our place and help us step down to take our last walk into the fading light. It is the most natural of phenomena, and yet I can't help begrudge a few minor points.

I appreciate the fact that my family, once so compact and easily contained, has become a large, gangly creature that romps about like an overactive but well loved chocolate Labrador. Full of exuberance and easy affection, it runs in circles that grow ever wider and far flung. I don't know half my cousins' children by face or name, and I am even a little hard pressed to identify their parents, too. It seems sometimes that I am losing touch not only with the generation that came before but the one that has come after as well. That bothers me a little.

I want to know these younger people, and I think it's a shame that most of them have not had the great privilege to grow up personally knowing the names I hold as famous: Ira, Kate, Della, Myrtle, Lyman, Lee, Perry and more. The wistful attention that I paid to the stories they told of Poly, Eileen, Hannah and Alexander years ago is what motivates me to tell stories like this one today.

Her name was Myrtle Elizabeth Marquis Jordan, although we always called her Myrtie. She was the third sister among Hannah's surviving daughters, and I still marvel at how close she, Kate and Della were. For a long time, they did not let a day go by without visiting one another in their homes, and they even worked together in the laundry at the Old People's Home.

Myrtie lived on Oak Street, too. In fact, she lived at three different addresses on Oak. She and her husband Frank, daughters Gerry and Elaine and sons Paul and Joe lived with the Huffstutlers at 153 during World War II. After the war, they lived across Raymond Street in what we came to know as "Mrs. Purdy's house." Finally, after Frank had died and her children had grown up and left home, she lived across and a few doors up the street with her friend "Aunt" Martha Huber.

Martha was no relation to us, but we called her "Aunt" just the same. She was very sweet but given to sudden lapses in comprehension that somehow always managed to devolve into spirited diatribes on the exemplary character of her parakeet, Buddy. (Truth be told, while she had the dedication necessary to own several parakeets over the years she had imagination enough for only one name: Buddy.)

Myrtie was such a frequent visitor at 153 Oak that she had her own bed there in Kate's room. When it was available, it's where I slept when visiting. If it was not, I ended up on the roll-away. One night, when the house was full to overflowing, Kate made me a bed in the bathtub. More comfortable than Myrtie's bed, which had a pillow that doubled as a sandbag (or vice versa), it became my instant favorite, and I gave Kate ample reason to regret her ingenuity for years to come. (Looking back, Kate may have been trying to safeguard my 7 year old pride during an extended bout with bladder problems and bedwetting--ingenious indeed.)

Myrtie was very sweet, always singing or whistling, eager to talk and laugh. She always shared gum--something no other adult did in my recollection--but she had a habit of sticking it under the table when she was finished with it and no one was looking. None of us ever dared to say a word about it (till now). She also wore clip-on sunglasses over her prescription glasses. It always struck me as so modern and stylish--as if she were a character out of The Great Gatsby--that it still fascinates me to this day.

At some point in her life, Myrtie had developed severe hip problems. I remember how she struggled to walk and how she lurched from room to room. It's only recently (thanks to my own hip problems) that I have realized just how much pain she must have been in--and yet she never complained. Instead, she always smiled, laughed and sang hymns ("The Old Rugged Cross" was always her favorite). She was at peace with her pain. In fact, she always seemed to have that "perfect peace" for which Kate, Della and Ira were so well known.

That's not to say that things didn't affect her. After she moved to the modern high-rise public housing apartment building on State Street, I spent the night there with my cousin (her grandson) Jordie. Space was tight in the tiny apartment, and Myrtie slept on a foldaway couch (how that must have added to her pain!). Jordie and I had the floor and we were fidgety and wound up (probably full of sugar) as 12 year old boys often are. Ten minutes of that and Aunt Myrtle laid down the law: be quiet, go to sleep OR ELSE. The next day, Myrtie was back to her old, happy self.

Myrtie and I had a special bond because we shared the same birthday. Growing up, we shared many birthday parties and cakes at Oak Street as well. She always made a point of singling me out for affection but, like Kate and Della, she also made a point of reaching out to all of my cousins. Between the three of them, they created a strong, wide web of love and affection that helped keep our growing, gangly family close and warm. Theirs was a high standard of family parenting--one to which I hope we can all continue to aspire.

Ave Maria

The group lived in Powell's Valley, Tenn. for a short time.

It is an alarming story. However, there are so many gaps in the narrative that one cannot report the course of events with complete conviction and authority. It isn't just a question of time and distance. Basic human decency, morality and raw survival instinct all converge to weave a patchwork story that contradicts itself and beggars explanation. It is a story so painful that one is left searching for a redemptive thread--a lifeline that, for all its insubstantial nature is still strong enough when flung in faith to rescue even the most lost of souls.

She could not have been more than 12 when they took her from her father's home. Maria Davidson was likely out in the fields, playing with her friend Susan Wood, when the two men snatched them and fled to North Carolina. The men--Micajah and Wiley Harpe, posing as brothers but rumored to be cousins--already had somewhat of a reputation for this sort of thing and were said to be part of a Tory rape gang terrorizing patriot families who supported the War of Independence. The men took their prizes to the wilderness of Tennessee where they joined the renegade Chickamauga Cherokee community of Nickajack. Years passed there, and the men honed an inexplicable, evil delight in rape, murder and violence. Micajah, for one, was said to be convinced that he was called by God to execute judgment on certain men but Micajah was not from God. He was a murderer from the beginning and, like his father the devil, he was a liar.

The small group left Nickajack shortly before it was raided and destroyed by U.S. troops after years of criminal activity and attacks on nearby settlements. However, it wasn't the impending destruction that spurred them to move elsewhere. It was the savage murder of their companion, Doss, that made them unwelcome. Doss had complained about the brothers' savage treatment of the women and was rumored to have more than a passing interest in their welfare. The brothers brutally murdered Doss, dumped his body off the main trail, and headed to Powell's Valley near Knoxville.

Life in a frontier settlement, however, proved difficult for the men and they resorted to stealing livestock and supplies which they then resold to other members of the community. Throughout the course of their association, the Harpes had presented the women as their wives. However, the dynamic within the group became somewhat skewed when Micajah legally married Susan and Wiley wooed and married a local Methodist minister's daughter, Sally Rice. It is perhaps at this point that Maria, with the alarming sobriquet of "supplementary wife", became "Betsey Roberts" and was regarded as Susan's sister despite the fact they looked nothing alike.

About a year after Wiley and Sally's marriage, the group met up with John Langford at an inn near Rockcastle River in Lincoln County, Kentucky. Langford befriended the group and, seeing that they were destitute (and that all three of the women were pregnant), bought the group breakfast and joined them on their journey along the Wilderness Road. It proved to be a fatal mistake. Days later, the Harpes emerged from the woods leading Langford's riderless horse. Langford's body was later found not far from the road.

The group was arrested and put in the Lincoln County jail on Christmas Day, 1798. After two months of plotting, the Harpe men escaped and left the women behind--not surprising as all three were heavily pregnant and it would have been nearly impossible to travel with them in the dead of winter. During the course of the women's 100-day confinement, all three gave birth. Betsey had a son. Susan and Sally each had a girl.

All three women were put on trial for murder. Susan was found guilty. Sally was acquitted. Only Betsey was found not guilty. Because the same evidence was presented against each of the women, the judge offered Susan a new trial. However, after four days, the Attorney General declined to re-try her. Having convinced the local townspeople of their innocence and their desire to have nothing further to do with the Harpe men, the women were released and sent on their way. As an act of charity, the townspeople took up a collection, gave the women a horse and outfitted them for the journey home to Tennessee.

What should have been a celebration of release from both the prospect of jail and the years of squalor and abuse at the hands of the Harpe brothers quickly took an inexplicable turn that defies explanation. The three women and children traded the horse for a boat and headed for Henderson County to rejoin the men.

Why? What possible reason could they have had for willfully going back to such a wretched life? Looking more closely at the circumstances of their situation, one can perhaps begin to understand. First, it cannot have been an easy decision to make. Surely, the three women felt themselves to be between a rock and a hard place--Betsey especially so. While Susan and Sally had the benefit of legal marriage, Betsey had no official designation other than the contemptible "supplemental wife." To complicate matters, she could not have been more than 17 at the time. She had no real family, no standing in the community, an infant son born out of wedlock and no advocate. The women were supposed to be heading "back to Tennessee" but where? They were driven out of Powell's Valley when the men were discovered to be stealing livestock, and Nickajack had long since been destroyed. The prospect of returning to North Carolina--even if she could recall where it was she had lived--must have been too daunting to Betsey. What family could have welcomed an unwed mother and rape victim after years of living amongst thieves, scoundrels and murderers?

Returning to the Harpes did not improve their lot. In fact, it made it far worse for the brothers, wanted with a $300 bounty on their heads, had gone from bad to worse by teaming up with an enterprising band of Ohio River pirates operating out of Cave-in-Rock in what would later become Illinois. The association, however, was short lived. The Harpe group was asked to leave after Micajah and Wiley had driven a man and a horse off the bluff onto the rocks below for their own private entertainment.

The departure from Cave-in-Rock established a momentum that fueled the Harpes' destruction and left a trail of bloodshed in their wake. After a spree that claimed the lives of nearly 40 people, Micajah was finally shot, captured, killed and beheaded. Susan, to her disgrace and horror, was forced to carry the head back to Russellville, Kentucky where it was placed on a pike for all to see. Wiley, having fled, abandoned Sally and made his way to Natchez, Mississippi and was eventually captured and executed.

Again, the three women found themselves incarcerated, examined and eventually exonerated. For a time, the three remained in the Russellville area. Sally later moved back to her father's home in Tennessee where she married a respectable gentleman and raised a family. Susan, too, was said to have returned to Tennessee where she later died. Betsey stayed in Russellville until--in 1803--something curious and unique happened: she met a man who drew her out of the darkness of her past and into the light.

Given that the facts are incomplete, I believe I'm entitled to take creative license as I turn to the matter of one John Huffstutler, a second generation Swiss-American immigrant from North Carolina who, I like to believe, had been looking for his missing childhood friend, Maria Davidson.

John's marriage to Betsey stands as a testament to her innocence and her redemption from the hell on earth in which the Harpe brothers had imprisoned her. Not only did they raise a large family (at least five children) over the course of their 60-year marriage, they also moved to Illinois and helped settle Hamilton County in the 1820s. Their son, George Washington Huffstutler (G.W. to the family) continued their legacy by marrying Susan Stelle (a cousin of one of Illinois' early governors) and raising a family of 10 children.

As a family story, Maria's history was never known until my cousin Becky and I stumbled across it while researching our family's line. Understandably, we were both horrified by what we found. "What kind of legacy does this leave us?" she asked. Having dug a little deeper beneath the surface, I would like to believe it is a legacy of hope and a testament to the power of faith and redemption. It's a legacy that speaks to the fact that no one is so lost that God's love and power cannot reach them. A legacy that stands on the old scripture "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9)

Don't Tell Me About Your Lifestyle

Kathleen and Jim with Cheryll, 1970.

Most of my memories of my cousin Kathleen revolve around the small, private war she fought against her parents and the other older adults in our family. As a baby boomer, I think she was the first of our generation to experience what it was like to have different life expectations than our parents.

It cannot have been easy growing up in a family of steadfast, unchanging Christian values against the backdrop of one of the most tumultuous periods in American history. There must have been times when she felt caught between a rock and a hard place. Her friends had so many things--color televisions, life-size dolls, closets full of store-bought clothes--while she (and the rest of us) had only black-and-white screens, rag dolls and home-sewn jumpers. It didn't help that our family had no money or that illness and circumstance demanded frugality from all of us. She could have become bitter about our lack but instead she became inventive and inspired--a crusading Auntie Mame of our very own who led us on a seemingly never-ending series of adventures.

Perhaps it is a little ironic that, perceiving a lack of "fun" in our lives that Kathleen introduced us to freedoms and activities that are unavailable to kids today. I saw my first drive-in movie (Live and Let Die) with my sisters Susan and Donna, cousins Becky and Colleen along with Kathleen, her husband Jim and daughter Cheryll. Eight people in one car must have been bad enough but Kathleen (surely silently screaming "Live! Live!") made sure each of us was liberally supplied with popcorn, candy and soda. I shudder today to recall that Jim calmly allowed a few of us to watch the adventures of James Bond while perched on the roof of his beloved, fire-engine red Charger.

Jim was always Kathleen's silent partner in crime (which, incidentally, is a shame because he happens to be wickedly funny). With his help, Kathleen simultaneously horrified our parents and delighted us by giving us our first lessons in driving (I was 12), taking us bowling (rented shoes!) and making that most pernicious of childhood dangers--candy--freely available (tooth decay!).

Strangely enough, Kathleen and my father were cohorts of a sort. Both regarded "bored" as a four-letter word, and both constantly pointed to the myriad of activities available to us that could be undertaken without parents. Fireworks, for example, were best watched from the roof (although they did require a certain hushed secrecy and ready access to a ladder). If a parent absolutely had to be present, then he or she was expected to chauffeur us from one suburban display to the next, chasing the bright explosions across the county until we were too tired to "ooh," ah" and "oh."

However, whereas Dad had a tendency to counsel caution for fear of inevitable lifechanging ínjury, Kathleen urged abandon for the sake of joy. Challenged by authority, her response was a call to arms, "Don't tell me about your lifestyle!" and she preached a message of curiosity, exploration and wonder. Thanks in large part to her, my cousins and I share a love of laughter, board games and good chocolate. Hers is a legacy I fondly remember.

So much of what we experienced as kids has been lost over the years. There were times when we could roam literally for miles on foot without causing our parents any concern. We could chat with people we hardly knew or didn't know at all without fear of being compromised in any way. We could build houses in alien trees, cavort with strange dogs and ignite ill-gained cherry bombs without any adult supervision whatsoever. The world is a darker place today with a dearth of open spaces and a surplus of fear. It's not safe for children any more, and we have to accept that. At least that's the way it seems until I hear those immortal words in my head: "Don't tell me about your lifestyle!"

Time After Time

While time may not be on my side, it is certainly on my mind. It seems to flow at different rates lately depending on my level of interest, access to distraction and depth of ambition. Sometime it runs away from me. Other times, it lingers pensively, studiously contemplating the pot upon the stove to legislate that, no, it shall not boil.

We think of time as a progression, a pointed movement along a singular, firmly rooted, linear track that deviates neither to the left nor right but instead rolls sonorously off towards a horizon we can only describe by its opposition to our current location. The past--presumably fixed behind us--is then. This, beneath our feet, is now. And there? There we shield our eyes from the light of the setting sun and nod to tomorrow.

Time, however, is an illusion. It's an elaborate system that we--spiritual beings caught in corporeal frames that fade and fail--employ in a vain effort to control the circumstances of our lives. Time, in a very real sense, isn't real at all.

This is why God is able to tell Jeremiah, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” (Jer 1:5) Because God was, is and always shall be, He exists completely always. Because He did not become God over time but instead is the same yesterday, today and forever more, we know that God does not--indeed, cannot--change.

Therefore, because God exists at all points and at all times, He has complete knowledge of us. We have free will to make our own choices, but He already knows what those choices are and will be. He already knows all outcomes, and He seeks to reassure us that He is always there, always accessible and always the same--yesterday, today and forever more.

Suddenly, time no longer seems so pressing.